High Achieving Women Stop Letting the Illusion of Work-Life Balance Burn You Out

As high-achieving women, many of us are all too familiar with feelings of burnout as we strive to reach this idealized state of equilibrium. The truth is that the illusion of work-life balance is just that: an illusion. There’s no one-size fits all approach to achieving balance. It’s time for high-achieving women to redefine balance for themselves, so they can create a life that works for them.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss why the traditional concept of work-life balance doesn’t work, and explore how to create a harmony of life that works for you.

What Is the Illusion of Work-Life Balance?

The concept of work-life balance is an elusive and ever-shifting goal. Many of us strive for a life where our careers, relationships, physical and mental health, and leisure pursuits all receive equal amounts of attention and energy. Unfortunately, the belief in this mythical notion of “balance” can set high-achieving women up for burnout and disappointment.

The concept of work-life balance gained popularity around the 80s when traditional stay-at-home moms were entering the workforce in numbers. Having never participated in the corporate environment before, these women felt the pressure to “fit in” the workplace, whilst not neglecting their roles as spouses and mothers. The concept was taken literally to mean that half of a woman’s time needed to be invested in work-related activities, and the other half had to be invested in taking care of the home.

Over the years, this has created an unrealistic expectation for women to “have it all” and “do it all”. A mythical notion of balance, where you can invest equal time and effort in various areas of your life simultaneously. But why do we buy into this widely accepted myth?

Why Do We Buy Into It?

Despite the growing recognition that work-life balance is an unattainable ideal, many high-achieving women continue to strive for it. This can lead to a cycle of guilt, frustration, and burnout, which can be detrimental to both their personal and professional lives.

One reason high-achieving women buy into the myth of work-life balance is the pressure to excel in all areas of their lives. Society often places unrealistic expectations on women to be the perfect employee, mother, partner, friend, and community member. Women may feel like they are failing or they cannot keep up with these expectations, which can create a sense of inadequacy and anxiety.

Another reason is the lack of support from employers and society as a whole. Many workplaces still expect employees to work longer hours, with little flexibility or support for childcare, parent care, or other family responsibilities. Women often find themselves pushing even harder to achieve the balance between the demands of work, and their personal lives, leading to feelings of exhaustion and burnout.

Lastly, the illusion of work-life balance gives us an expectation of how we should structure our lives, and make decisions about career paths. This is often perpetuated in social media, where curated images and posts can create an unrealistic portrayal of how women should be living their lives. Women may feel pressure to keep up with these unrealistic standards, leaving them feeling inadequate and stressed. “If she can build an empire in three years, and raise three kids on her own, why can’t I?”

How Does It Hurt Us?

The concept of work-life balance is often framed in a way that ignores the significant challenges women face in the workplace due to gender bias and discrimination. The myth of work-life balance also fails to acknowledge the systemic barriers that make it difficult for women to succeed in their careers.

For example, women are often paid less than their male counterparts, are underrepresented in leadership roles, and are more likely to face workplace harassment and discrimination. In both cases, women put themselves under even more pressure to achieve their career goals, despite these challenges, whilst trying to balance work with their personal lives.

On an individual level, when women buy into the illusion of work-life balance, we take on more than we can handle, and it eventually leads to burnout. Many high-achieving women struggle with this, and it can have a major impact on their health, relationships, and overall quality of life. Stress levels are high, anxiety is common, and there’s never enough time to do all the things we want or need to do. We don’t prioritize our own needs, and it’s all too easy to end up completely overwhelmed.

We sacrifice sleep, time with loved ones, and our own well-being, to meet the unrealistic demands of achieving balance. Ultimately, we suffer the consequences. So, what’s the solution?

What Can We Do Instead?

Instead of striving for an unattainable goal of work-life balance, high-achieving women should shift their focus to finding a more realistic approach that can be found in work-life harmony. Work-life harmony means creating a more integrated approach to our lives, where work and personal life can coexist in a way that allows us to meet our priorities and goals while maintaining a sense of well-being. It’s about prioritizing what matters most in each moment and allowing flexibility and clear boundaries.

Here are some practical tips for achieving work-life harmony:

1. Start by identifying the different domains of your life that are important to you. There is more than just a work-life divide. Your life can be split into different domains such as – career, family life, health, social life, spirituality, romance, leisure etc.
2. Set realistic expectations – don’t expect to be able to do everything at once. Establish among the domains how you want to divide your time and energy, investing more in the areas that matter most in this season of your life.
3. Acknowledge the challenges and obstacles you may face in the workplace which may present additional hurdles to your achieving your career goals. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and support from colleagues, mentors, or a coach
4. Establish clear boundaries – learn to say no to the things that don’t align with your priorities, or which may cause unnecessary stress. This includes setting boundaries around work hours, and time spent on technology.
5. Recognize when it’s time to change things up and be flexible with yourself. Setting boundaries does not mean never working long hours, or equally never taking an unplanned break – because you need it.
6. Prioritize self-care – take regular breaks, and make time for things that bring you joy and fulfillment. It helps to have some regular downtime to also re-evaluate if you are investing the right time and energy, among the things that matter to you most in this season of your life.

Conclusion

The illusion of work-life balance is a myth that can lead to burnout and disappointment. Instead of striving for this unattainable goal, high-achieving women should focus on creating work-life harmony - by identifying what is important to them in this season of their life, prioritizing self-care, and establishing clear boundaries.

While achieving the perfect balance in life is impossible, achieving a state of harmony and balance is something every high-achieving woman can strive for. Let’s give ourselves permission to let go of the myth of work-life balance and embrace the reality of work-life harmony.

Featured image By People images from Getty Images Signature

Kai-Nneka Townsend, is an author, and a Career Burnout Recovery and Prevention Coach for women.